A Mark In Time

Mark Knopfler Discussion => Mark Knopfler Discussion Forum => Topic started by: MagicElliott on June 03, 2023, 11:42:37 PM

Title: Mark’s songs as Haiku
Post by: MagicElliott on June 03, 2023, 11:42:37 PM
Hi all,

I really love writing haiku poetry. I’m not a writer at all but, as a teacher, something clicked with me about this form of poetry when I first taught it to my students in English lessons.
Since then I’ve written dozens of haiku. Not all about nature (as is traditional) but all of them following the familiar format of lines and syllables.

Here’s a few written about Mark’s songs. No titles given but no prizes for guessing the songs either.

Such a tough life lead
abused by parent when young
grew into boxer

Early morning shock
is that person fast asleep?
no! A grim killing

Unlikely teacher
ex-military fellow
modelling dancing

Youthful carelessness
racing up steps in the dark
minimal funds earned

There’s four for you! Maybe they’re terrible! Do say if you think so-I’m not proud. Anyone else want to have a crack at some?
Title: Re: Mark’s songs as Haiku
Post by: Pierre on June 06, 2023, 07:54:18 PM
I think I got them all
Song for Sonny
5.15 Am
secondary waltz
Laugh and jokes and drinks and smokes

nice, I'd like to have a go at it after reading your Haiku
Title: Re: Mark’s songs as Haiku
Post by: MagicElliott on June 06, 2023, 11:32:14 PM
Thanks man.

Yeah bang on all of them.
Give it a go, I’d be interested in reading them for one!

I’m not a writer, do NOT get poetry generally (hate teaching it in English) but because of the format and features of them, can just about cope with them.
Title: Re: Mark’s songs as Haiku
Post by: Pierre on June 07, 2023, 05:36:24 PM
Ok there you go

watched from above
wet to the bones
sipping away I'm waiting for death,

on the fly this one (took me 5 minutes)
Title: Re: Mark’s songs as Haiku
Post by: MagicElliott on June 07, 2023, 11:25:30 PM
Wow. Struggling with this one. My mind has thought of everything from “Dream of the Drowned Submariner” to “River Towns”

Anyone else?
Title: Re: Mark’s songs as Haiku
Post by: Pierre on June 08, 2023, 02:22:11 PM
Maybe I was too fast to write it, the last part is misleading in a way, it has to do with interpretation I guess

It's in the Privateering record


another one (I 'm having fun there)

miserable make-believe
made me mad
I must mumble my contempt


Embarked on a journey
sea-faring kings
We'll get your wine, wives and gold


Roaring monsters
I am at taming
to cross the line once and for all

In their fortress of air
they dictate the world
Gilded wizards of void
Title: Re: Mark’s songs as Haiku
Post by: Pierre on June 10, 2023, 02:25:58 PM
By the way I'm an English teacher too, in France obvisously.

Title: Re: Mark’s songs as Haiku
Post by: MagicElliott on June 11, 2023, 12:46:14 PM
Nice work. Have some theories of some of those.

Great job
:)
Title: Re: Mark’s songs as Haiku
Post by: Pierre on June 11, 2023, 03:15:46 PM
Thanks, so what do you think?
Title: Re: Mark’s songs as Haiku
Post by: MagicElliott on June 11, 2023, 07:31:35 PM
Maybe I was too fast to write it, the last part is misleading in a way, it has to do with interpretation I guess

It's in the Privateering record


another one (I 'm having fun there)

miserable make-believe
made me mad
I must mumble my contempt


Embarked on a journey
sea-faring kings
We'll get your wine, wives and gold


Roaring monsters
I am at taming
to cross the line once and for all

In their fortress of air
they dictate the world
Gilded wizards of void

Unsure of the first one currently.
Privateering, Lions and Kingdom of Gold.

And your very, very first one-Redbud Tree?
Title: Re: Mark’s songs as Haiku
Post by: Pierre on June 12, 2023, 03:41:21 PM
Privateering and Kingdom are good, not the others

I may have misinterpreted the songs
Title: Re: Mark’s songs as Haiku
Post by: Pierre on June 13, 2023, 09:00:00 PM


Away from love
in foreign lands
A one-eyed soldier to god laments
Title: Re: Mark’s songs as Haiku
Post by: MagicElliott on June 14, 2023, 10:10:56 AM
Are these all from Privateering?
Title: Re: Mark’s songs as Haiku
Post by: JF on June 14, 2023, 11:16:55 AM


Away from love
in foreign lands
A one-eyed soldier to god laments

Done with Bonaparte
Title: Re: Mark’s songs as Haiku
Post by: Pierre on June 14, 2023, 04:01:04 PM
Are these all from Privateering?

Not all of them

from Tracker

miserable make-believe
made me mad
I must mumble my contempt

From Sailing

Roaring monsters
I am at taming
to cross the line once and for all



Away from love
in foreign lands
A one-eyed soldier to god laments

Done with Bonaparte

that's it!
Title: Re: Mark’s songs as Haiku
Post by: Pierre on June 14, 2023, 04:03:49 PM
Thanks MagicElliott for this idea

We could write one Haiku for each song
Title: Re: Mark’s songs as Haiku
Post by: MagicElliott on June 14, 2023, 10:06:06 PM
Roaring monsters
I am at taming
to cross the line once and for all

speedway?
Title: Re: Mark’s songs as Haiku
Post by: Pierre on June 14, 2023, 10:11:36 PM
Roaring monsters
I am at taming
to cross the line once and for all

speedway?

Yeah Speedway