Try these.
:In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, it's Africa.
:One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells. It appears that Scousers and Jocks is not the correct answer.
:I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's ipod after realising that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.
:George Clooney is to star in a new film about Gary Glitter, called "Oh, She's Eleven".
:My wife told me I was no longer romantic so I booked a table for the two of us on Valentine's Night. Problem was she's rubbish at snooker.
:There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in Camberley but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets.
:You can say lots of bad things about paedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.
:A mate of mine has just told me he's sh*gging his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"
:A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor. "Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair".
